(Picture taken at the end of January, on a trip to Vietnam.)

My first trimester has taught me to take things easy.  Not that there was any alternative to it, there is no other way of being.  I live life in my own bubble.  Finally it is okay to put myself first, let others take the initiative at work.  I feel insulated from the relentless race and hostility of the world.  The default mood is warm and fuzzy, while also clear-headed and decisive.

As of recent, hunger makes me nauseous.  All-day nausea of the first trimester has passed and I feel more energized and focused at work.  I thought Asian home-cooked fare is my go-to, but understood better after my return to Sweden.  It is about bland foods, as close to its natural flavours as possible…unless it is umami!  I take to MSG well and have to watch my intake.  Otherwise my cravings have surprisingly turned Swedish.  This week’s to-eat foods are boiled potatoes (with some oily Chinese chilli paste), frozen raspberries and I suspected, vanilla custard made from scratch.  Fresh fruit are always a hit, oranges in particular.  I made a rice porridge with overripe kimchi and the sourness went down well.  I have started eating raw blueberries again instead of its jam.  Tartness appeals to me, so much so that I prefer the cabbage-carrot side salad (juice of half a lemon, parsley and chilli powder) to its hearty Shepard’s pie main course.

Eating stops nausea. If I run out of fruit rations on my walk home from the bus stop, singing helps a great deal.  It’s a great distraction and the long-drawn breaths ease nausea.  Singing helps me to breathe deeply and enjoy the walk, so nausea and anxiety over my discomfort do not take over.

I think about Isak more often over the day when I am away at work.  I missed him more than I used to.

I want to keep this even temper and state of mind with me, that inner peace and calm are just a chuckle away.


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